June 2014 - Competing in bodybuilding shows is not for everyone, but for me it helps to reinforce what I already do. The accountability is what makes all the difference in the world -- accountability to my coach, accountability to the process and my own outcome/ranking at the show by adhering to a clean eating protocol and regimented workout routine has truly helped me to achieve so much more than what is visible on stage.  It has helped me to re-invent myself at 46 years old.

Dedication, commitment and self-control are hallmarks of what is required for contest prep. When I qualified for nationals in April '14, I was at a crossroad as to whether I wanted to continue with contest prep to prepare for nationals or not -- more meal prep, more focused workouts, more accountability, more scrutiny… but all-in-all, I owed it to myself as I did not want to miss out on a once in a life time opportunity.  I chose to go for it and I could not be happier.  Nationals are yet to come, but what I have learned doing two shows back-to-back might surprise you. 

Changed a “Can do” to “Will do” attitude. I will do this and I will do my best no matter how daunting it may have seemed on the outset.

Evolution of my fitness level is fueled by contest prep. I am forced to operate at a higher level to get results. I thought I was in the best shape of my life before, but I’m in even better shape now. I’m lifting heavier weights. I’m able to sustain interval training longer. I am more nimble and my flexibility and balance are better.  Everything is better.

A longer time-frame in contest prep [since January] has also allowed me to change my set point weight and I could not be happier.

Being a competitor has been a gift I gave to myself. It has given me more than I ever imagined – a new ME.  I am so thankful to my competition coach, IFBB Pro Michelle Johnson, owner of TeamKnockouts for being the best in the business. She is my accountability partner in this whole process.

Being held accountable is not something most adults want, but sometimes it is the very thing you need. Find something, someone you can be held accountable to and you WILL go to the next level.  Train with a personal trainer to hold you accountable to your workouts so that if you don't show up they will know, if you don't give 100% they will call you ou. Sign up for a race to be accountable to your outcome.

Tell someone to hold you accountable and mean it!

The one question I’m probably asked the most is “What keeps me motivated?”  Different days may yield different answers.  Here is today’s answer.  Seeing my body morph into something new kept me motivated at the beginning.  As time has passed not sabotaging those results has kept me even more motivated.  I don’t want to “waste” my own investment in ME.

I have also been fascinated by accomplishing physical things I would have never thought I was capable of doing – like competing in a bodybuilding competition and running a half marathon.  These things may not be big deals to others, but they are (were) to ME.  They are not so daunting anymore.  They are challenging.  They require dedication, but I am motivated to push myself outside of my own comfort zone otherwise, I will stall, stagnant, remain the same. I owe myself more than mediocrity especially when I KNOW I can deliver more. I am not the best, but I do MY best.  The challenge to accomplish these feats drives me and the finish (no matter what placement/ranking) is my sweet reward.

I feel the best when I am moving.  Exercise has really turned into my life’s equilibrium.  It truly rebalances me.  Something about that trickle of sweat down my face or back puts everything in perspective, washes away worry, and creates a sense of renewal and balance.

My body is far from perfect. however, I am without a doubt in the best shape of my life.  I am faster.  I am stronger.  I am more capable.  I am healthier and most importantly I am a role model for my young son through my ACTIONS not words.

For me, exercise is not easy.  I don’t do it because it is easy.  I do it because I want to be healthier and I want to have some longevity and be an active parent for my son.  This is my main motivational driver.

Motivation comes from within.  Find that beacon to keep you focused. 

 

 

Take out the mystery and make it mastery when it comes to being motivated, keeping track of your health, nutritional, caloric intake, fitness and weight goals.  Sure there is still a place in life for pen and paper, but technology sure can help you with being organized and staying on track.  So why not use it to your benefit?

There have been many times where I have picked and even paid for an app based on its initial description and once I “unwrap” it, I realize it is not for me – too cumbersome, too complicated, too many features, not enough features and the list goes on.  So, application selection is a very personal thing, but I think it is worthwhile sharing the ones I use regularly and the general reason why: 

Pandora – music stations are dictated by keeping songs/artists I like and removing my dislikes

FITRadio – DJ created playlists great for parties, individual and group exercise

7min Workout – great for the “plus up” quick workout at the end of the day or you can build a decent workout by doing more than one 7min workout

PopSugar – great options for workouts if you don’t know where to start

TabataTimer  - used for intervals during my personal workout and for group classes I teach

BigDay – calendar that counts down to big events – races, fitness competition, etc.

PolarBeat – tracks calories, easy to use and it works with my $60 heart rate monitor

Runkeeper – great for tracking cardio AND progress.  It is integrated with Withings wi-fi scale

Withings – wi-fi scale keeps my family’s weight, sends weekly emails… how is that for accountability?  Been tracking everyone's weight since Dec ’11 – integrated with Runkeeper and can “analyze” and ties weight to exercise

Myfitnesspal – track calories, but also nutritional make up of food (fat, carbs, protein and major RDA vitamins), can scan food labels, integrated with Withings scale AND Runkeeper.

There you go… Two options for great tunes to keep you motivated and other apps to keep you ON TRACK and IMPROVING with exercise, nutrition and weight

I went in for a routine biopsy surgery. I was reassured it was probably nothing. That one event forever changed me and the course of my life.  I left the hospital in shock and a totally different person – someone who had cancer, someone whose life expectancy was uncertain, and someone whom was now forced to take a look at my own mortality. A new title had been added to my existence – I have cancer – that was almost ten years ago - Thanksgiving 2004.

You may wonder what lead me to this surgery in the first place?  I was trying to get pregnant and I was charting down the road of infertility treatments when my doctor found my ovary was enlarged.  It was the size of a 3D brick.  A normal ovary is the size of a walnut.  I had no symptoms, but frequent urination because my ovary was resting on my bladder. My infertility treatments were aborted and I was sent to a gyn oncologist. Scans showed my ovary was cystic, but I was reassured these were probably fibroids as they are very common in black women.  A biopsy would be needed to confirm this.  When I woke up from my surgery, I learned three things I was not prepared for.  My ovary had been REMOVED, I had cancer and the cancer I had was granulose cell tumor (GCT) a cancer germane to post-menopausal white women (I was neither). My dear husband had the pleasure of delivering this news to me.

In it all, I was somewhat relieved it has been discovered knowing that you can’t solve a problem you know nothing about.  My cancer had been “sacked” and removed from my otherwise healthy body.  My body returned to its new normal.  I became pregnant naturally.  With the cancer association, my pregnancy was “high risk” and required monthly sonograms. I got to watch my son thrive and grow inside me (literally) for 38 weeks.  I was under the careful watch of both my obstetrician and my gyn oncologist who both agreed they did not want me to go into labor naturally and I would deliver via a C-section at which point both sets of doctors would be in the operating room.  After I delivered my healthy 9lb 2oz son, I heard, I saw a glimpse of him, but I wouldn’t hold him until hours later as the “cancer thing” had to be tended to AGAIN.  This is when the other shoe of cancer dropped for me.  It had returned.  It was something I was NOT prepared for. You see I had naively locked the thought of cancer out of my life.  I had beat it, right? I was hormonal from being pregnant and I was a train wreck sobbing uncontrollably and clutching my newborn baby.  What I learned that instant was that if you have cancerous cells in your body, you ALWAYS have to be mentally prepared for it to return. It is a fact. It is the black cloud you carry with you for the rest of your life.  It is what makes us different.  It is what changes our outlook on life.  It was what makes us savor every day and every moment.

I write this so that if you know someone whom has dealt with cancer, handle them with a little extra TLC, respect the fact they have a different outlook on life than you and that cancer-free now does not always mean cancer –free forever. Don’t roll your eyes, if your cancer friend brings up cancer when they look healthy TODAY.  This is a REAL battle that cancer survivors fight everyday. A friend of mine was cancer free for 20+ years and recently she found out her breast cancer had returned.  She was forced to have a double mastectomy. 

Folks, cancer is not patient and cancer is not kind.   Please be patient and kind to those you know dealing with cancer in whatever capacity!

I am a consummate deal hunter.  Who doesn’t like trying new things AND getting a good deal? I found the personal trainer I used for 2 ½ years on Groupon.  The massage therapist I currently use I found via Specialious.  I was exposed to my favorite local restaurant via YipDeals.  My eight year old son is developing his love of music and is 6 months into learning to play the piano because of an on-line deal.  There is a plethora of things I have done as a direct benefit of on-line deals including: hotel rooms, facials, microdermabrasion, boxing, Pilates, children’s activities, movies and the list goes on.  While I would not look for a healthcare professional like a doctor, surgeon, dentist via this avenue, I feel this is a low-risk, inexpensive way to explore new things and benefit from discounts in the 50-75% range.

What do I have in my queue? Two acupuncture sessions which will be a first for me, four massages, one facial, one photo session and half-day at spa world awaiting me.  The retail for these items is over $1,000 and I spent $309.  Over the next 6 months, I will enjoy being pampered GUILT FREE and I might just find my new favorite place.  You don’t have to splurge to enjoy life!

Check them out… you might just find YOUR next favorite thing. 

My favorites are: Groupon, Specialious, LivingSocial and YipDeals.

My last fitness goal of 2013 was my half marathon in October.  Since then I have not had a “tangible” goal that I’ve been working toward.  I've been healing from surgery, trying to stay relatively fit and still slip into my size 4 jeans.  I can honestly say I don’t like this space.  I don’t enjoy working out WITHOUT a purpose.  I don’t have the drive I have when I’m working toward something.  When I set my mind to do something, I am my own competition and this ignites the drive in me to do better and to push myself. I don’t want self image and the scale/clothing numbers to drive all of my gym activities.  Sure these things benefit from my workouts, but I don’t want them to drive my workouts. That is no FUN [for me]!

This time of the year is an excellent time to take inventory, reflect on what worked and what didn't work and make adjustments for the new year ahead. I can honestly say that 2013 was probably one of the best years of my life. I pushed myself and stepped outside my comfort-zone. I achieved things unimaginable like being able to inspire people by sharing my challenges, ups and downs. 

Today, is day #1 for me and I feel like it is the first day of the rest of my life not just new year! I started my competition program today and I will execute with precision. In 2014, I will continue to follow my passion to BE and DO better no matter how incremental. I will hold myself accountable to ME. I will do a “pulse checks” often to ENSURE I’m on track. These are my 2014 fitness commitments to MYSELF and no one else.

January – May – train and compete in two fitness competitions
What: weight lifting/cardio
Goal: body fat reduction, muscle development/definition/toning, higher placement than 2013

June - October – train for half marathon
What: cross train cardio (spin, elliptical, running), weight lifting
Goal: run 5k, 10k, 20k and end with half marathon. Beat last year’s times on all races.

October – December – try something new like Insanity or P90X

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHa6sITVebs

myBackground goals: 
Increase push and pull up numbers. Focus more on stretching/flexibility.
Complete monthly challenge calendars in the background of workout programs - push up challenge, burpee challenge, arm blaster, ab blaster, etc.

Now that I have a plan in hand with dates/times and goals, I just have to execute to the best of my ability.  It is like following a blueprint to a better me.

How can you get and stay goal focused?

1. Don’t talk about what you want to do, do it. 

2. Think about what you want to achieve making sure it is realistic and achievable.

3. Write it down. Start to visualize the outcome.

4. Sign up for it. Get it on your calendar. No turning back now!

5. Determine the goal of the outcome. Do you want to be faster, better, smarter, spiritual?

6. Be accountable to you. Your opinion is the only one that matters. Don't let yourself down.

7. Make it happen at all costs.

Last year, after my fitness competition I was in fantastic shape, but I was definitely burned out.  It was nice to ALREADY know what I would be working toward AFTER the show and that it was totally different than what I had been doing the preceding months. I was able to maintain my weight loss by swiftly transitioning from contest prep to  preparing for my races.  In fact, when Shape magazine contacted me, it was months after my competition and had I not had a plan in place, I probably would not have been photo worthy. They called and 5 days later I had my photo shoot leaving no time for quick fixes!

It is good to have a plan to execute.

What do I eat when I am whipping up breakfast like a short order cook for my guys?  The fact is not everyone in my household is down with clean eating. They eat a typical breakfast -- eggs, sausage, toast on most days, but I've made small changes that make the old breakfast standards a wee bit healthier.  I cook with coconut oil vs. butter.  I switched from white bread to Ezekiel bread for toast, turkey vs. pork, and when they have pancakes I make buckwheat ones vs. using prepackaged ones.   These are small, healthy changes for them and they don't feel like "dieting" is rammed down their throats. However, my breakfast staples are quite different. They are 1) steel cut oats and scrambled eggs and 2) nutritionally packed smoothie that is veggie-based vs sugary fruit.  I typically eat/drink my breakfast while getting them out the door. 

Mine are still under wraps, but I hope they look this good! No need to whisper, wonder or question "whether I did have a boob job or not" -- it is evident and I am not hiding what I feel I have earned for ME.  No more pads, no more drooping, not more bra gap, no more lifting and tucking them in... You'll know me when you see me, I'll be the one with the cleavage and walking with an arched back to show off my new assets. :-)

However, I was not prepared for how anxious I felt about my breast augmentation.  As the day approached I got more and more nervous.  The night before I didn't sleep a wink. I've done "this" [other surgeries] 10 other times. What gives?  You see, for me, the name of the game for my past surgeries has been about life preservation.  I am a veteran when it comes to preparing for, executing and healing from surgery.  This was different -- it was my FIRST surgery I didn't NEED.  Why put myself through this unnecessarily? Why put something in my body that theoretically does not belong when I have fought long and hard over the years to remove foreign items  [cancer] from my body?  Hmmmmm.... good questions, Libby... 

The answer became crystal clear. My body has been beholden to cancer and its treatments [surgeries, scans, chemo] for almost 10 years when I would never know when or if I would need another resection [to remove cancerous masses] so elective surgeries were out of the question if I needed a surgery to save my life. In September 2013, I received my 5-year cancer remission news and  I finally felt my body was really MY body and not that of a cancer patient. I now could make my own decision about a surgery and a surgery that was for ME and it came in the form of a breast augmentation.

I'm not advocating augmentations since it is a very personal decision and controversial for some, but I don't think it is something to be ashamed of.  The fact is 1 out 4 women have been augmented.  I've never had low self-esteem or suffered from poor body image, but I am super excited to have a BALANCED, symmetrical body as a result of a lot of gym time and now this augmentation. I am thankful the procedure is behind me.  Still young in recovery, but so far I am happy [I think my hubby is even happier] with the new ENHANCED me. 

I am boobilious! :-)

 

Over the years, I've been asked often about recommendations for local wig stores as friends and/or their family members go through chemo.  Who knew that I'd be a "resource" in this capacity?  Today, I got that request again and it brings to the forefront how prevalent cancer is in today's society and sadly amongst many I know. I have gladly shared my whole experience and think it is worth sharing the high points with you.



1. Give thought to whom will see you bald.  Your husband, your children, your family members, your friends... It is a VERY personal decision, but thought should be given. I debated whether my young son would see me bald or not thinking it would "affect" him or he'd be fearful of me without hair. My sister pointed out that our thoughts of our very own mother had not changed when we saw her bald from her chemo which was the truth.  She was my mother and hair or not, she was STILL my mother and I STILL loved her.  When my son saw me the first time without hair he didn't even react because I was still MOMMY.
2. Cut your hair before it starts to fall out.  Having hair short will minimize the physical and emotional mess. Within two days of my cutting my hair short, I was completely bald.  I remember being in the bathroom combing out clumps of my hair and my husband appeared out of nowhere wondering where I was.  There I sat sobbing about my hair coming out.  He said lovingly, "It's just hair.  It'll grow back.  You are still pretty."  Your wedding day doesn't prepare one for this moment, but he said exactly what I needed to hear.
3. Buy your wig before hair starts to fall out. A seamless transition between your hair and a wig helps your psyche.
4. Buy a couple of wigs so you don't look out of place in the grocery store if your wig is too dolled up for your gym clothes or your hair is to casual for a night out on the town.  I had 3 wigs -- everyday wig, casual going out wig and a fancy wig.
5.  Buy a wig with the re-growth of hair in mind.  You will have to transition from bald to new hair growth so a short wig helps with this transition were your appearance isn't a sharp contrast.
6.  Do NOT shop for a wig alone.  I did and I regretted it. It was so emotional as I watched other women buying wigs for "special" occasions like weddings or birthday parties and I was wondering if I was going to live. 
7. Be bold with the wig.  Use it as an opportunity to change your hair style from straight to curly or vice verse or go blonde or brunette as a complete change.
8.  Enjoy wearing the wig knowing that one day (soon) you'll be washing, blow drying, curling, flat ironing, dying your own hair.  Wigs make getting ready EASY.
9. Using insurance is not a must.  Personally, I thought it was ridiculous to spend hundreds of dollars on a wig that I viewed to be temporary.  Getting wigs via insurance leaves you with few choices. I bought 3 wigs out of pocket for the price of one insurance funded wig and I was happy with my choices.
10.  Transitioning from the wig can be hard has you reveal new growth.  I did it when I had "peach" fuzz and it was my personal badge of surviving chemo.  Sure I got some stares, but I didn't care. 
My hair doesn't define me, my LIFE does!

Loathe exercising?  Keep starting and stopping?  Maybe you haven't found the right fit for you or maybe you are someone who NEEDS variety to keep you interested.  Exercise diversity is the spice of fitLife for me. 

Today, I started to fill my cup with some of the kettlebell "kool aid".  I got my assessment and "form" instruction as I prepare for my first session at Brian Wright - Personal Training -- so looking forward to swinging these cast iron cannonballs. 

Yesterday, I took on a ViPR class at Xtreme Fitness which exposed me to loaded movement training that integrates the entire body for strength, cardio and agility training using a hollowed weighted rubber tube. Today, I am sore so I must have challenged my body in a new way which is awesome.

While both ViPR and Kettlebells have a full-body training aspect, they are vastly different in execution which I personally like.  I'm ALWAYS on the prowl for something new... now I've got two new interests, two new challenges to master and can already see new fitness growth on the horizon. 

The fundamentals of what I do exercise wise changes very little, but my methods do - I lift weights to keep my body strong, I workout with intensity to burn calories and, when possible, I personally prefer full-body exercises to get more bang for my time investment.  Pilates and Boxing were also added to my 2013 exercise toolbox. I'm happy to have Kettlebells and ViPR as part the mix!  Overcome exercise boredom -- try something NEW! 

A picture is worth 1,000 words, but do you assign the right words?  A vision of complete health, but the changing season and cool air brings to the forefront a chemo side affect that I still deal with today -- Raynaud's disease -- where my fingers and toes go numb and turn blue in response to cold temperatures or stress.  Whenever my digits encounter a swift change in temperature they react and often times render me somewhat "handicapped."  An onset of these side affects is very painful and a pain in my butt because I can't do the simplest things like:  type on my computer, hold a pencil or pen or fork, or remove my credit card or money from my wallet after leaving the frozen food section.  Ever ask a complete stranger for help with paying while at the grocery store?  It is embarrassing and it sucks, but it is what it is so I deal with it knowing that I have so many other things to be thankful for. There is no real treatment so I endure and count the blessings of being here to "experience"  my pain. :-)

I used to have clothes in my closet that ranged from size 8 to 14.  Today, I have one size and I feel it keeps me accountable and on track. If my clothes get tight, I do not have the luxury to slip into a larger size from my closet. Instead it is a wake-up call that something is off-track -- not eating healthy, overeating, eating at the wrong time, not burning enough calories, ineffective exercise, etc... Basically, it is time to pull back from the table, reflect on what got me "here" and develop a "come-back" plan ASAP that includes sound nutrition and regular exercise on a consistent basis.

People have consistently asked me questions ranging from exercises to what motivates me as I progressed down my transformation path.  Sure I gladly share this information, but I would have never projected ahead to think I'd be doing "official" presentations about what I have learned during my getting healthy and fitness journey. 

Well, when I was asked to present to a group of about 10 women, I didn't think twice and agreed to share what I learned from my own school of hard knocks.  I shared my background with cancer, my surgeries and how I could not outrun my own genetics of cancer, high blood pressure nor diabetes without losing weight and getting healthy.  My presentation was to be 20 minutes, but it was so interactive and full of pressing questions from attendees that it lasted over an hour.  I spoke about doing what works for oneself when it comes to picking an exercise program because it is not one size fits all.  If you hate it, you are less likely to stick with it.  Goals, consistency and nutrition are also key to a successful program.  I shared what parts of "official" program worked for me and my lifestyle.  My 2-hour workshop ended with a food prep and tasting session where I shared my favorite healthy foods like:  rice cakes with almond butter and low fat, low sodium turkey and my take on a healthy turkey meal that is super spicy and super yummy.

My debut was well-received.  I was honored and felt blessed to spend my afternoon with such a wonderful group of women who have a thirst for health and fitness information.

Friday the 13th I'm on top of the world today… What happens when you get an email from a national magazine that they want to run your story?!  A whole gamut of emotions… I got that notice today that I will be featured in December 2013 Shape magazine as a “Success Story” where they will highlight my body transformation after my many life’s challenges – dealing with my mother’s lung and breast cancer and ultimately death while dealing with my own ovarian related cancer issues (chemo, surgeries), weight gain and my road by to health.

And, this was the same day, I picked up my race packet for my SECOND half marathon. 

I’m stilling pinching myself.

Since 2004, I have dealt the ups and downs of ovarian cancer and the unknowns associated with the results of CT scans.  Naturally, I always wish for the all clear, but until the results are available, I wait, I pray and I worry.  Today, I got the best news anyone who has or has had cancer… the news of a full remission – cancer-free. 

For nearly 10 years, I have waited and prayed for this day. 

I now go to the 5-year plan for scans, but will continue to be watchful and in tuned with my body and its changes.