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myMiddle Ageism - Aging Gracefully

5/16/2014

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Never say, Never… My 46th birthday is next week and I just washed the grays out of my hair.  I am not afraid of aging; however, I do want to try to look the best I can as a middle aged woman.  (Did I just say that?! YES – middle aged! Gasp…) I want to head toward 50 in a youthful way. I want to be sexy without exuding sex.  This is a tall order, right?  I think not – with with a little bit of “help.”
Aging has caused me to revisit a few of my “nevers”… You know… the things I vowed to never do when I was a young taunt 20 something.  It is easy to judge and say NEVER when you don’t have cause or a need for change or even if you have a perfectionist vision of your ownness.  Personally, the affects of aging changed my view.
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When my hair was long, flowing down to the middle of my back and at times a tangled mess and hard to comb, I couldn’t fathom why someone would want to add more of the stuff by using hair extensions or wearing a wig.  Today, with thinning hair (from side affects from chemo), I get it and really enjoy using clip-in extensions from time to time.  They make me feel like a superstar in a flash. 

Much of my life, I could go bra-less and no one could tell because my girls did look that good. Why would I even consider a boob job or a lift?  That’s just crazy talk. Weight loss, breastfeeding and aging made my perky headlights sag, but my new implants fill the space that fat and milk used to take up.  I love them and feel like they are mine.  Well, they are – I paid for them.

Knock on wood, I was blessed with good skin and complexion. Who needs more than soap and water? Why even consider the craziness of magic creams or putting foreign juices underneath to look 20 again?  This is beyond CRAZY, right?  Well, I got 7 botox lil pricks that erased the only wrinkles I had on my face (my forehead). Today, I look 37 years old not 20 and couldn’t be happier. 

What is my point?  Do what makes YOU happy. I’m not trying to reverse aging.  I feel honored to be “in it”.  I want to be the best version of me I can be – healthy, fit and not look bad for edging toward 50. 

I have never had a poor body image even when I was overweight I still thought I looked sexy.  I am not a seeker of approval trying to fix something someone else has pointed out.  I am not looking for self perfection or a distorted view of whom I used to be in the mirror. I take care of myself and I want to look like I take care of myself as I ride into middle age.  Simple. 

  Own YOU and do what makes you feel good and look good -- just don’t go crazy.

Boobs, Dye, Botox, Extensions rock!

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unSuspecting Wigging Out

11/3/2013

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Over the years, I've been asked often about recommendations for local wig stores as friends and/or their family members go through chemo.  Who knew that I'd be a "resource" in this capacity?  Today, I got that request again and it brings to the forefront how prevalent cancer is in today's society and sadly amongst many I know. I have gladly shared my whole experience and think it is worth sharing the high points with you.



1. Give thought to whom will see you bald.  Your husband, your children, your family members, your friends... It is a VERY personal decision, but thought should be given. I debated whether my young son would see me bald or not thinking it would "affect" him or he'd be fearful of me without hair. My sister pointed out that our thoughts of our very own mother had not changed when we saw her bald from her chemo which was the truth.  She was my mother and hair or not, she was STILL my mother and I STILL loved her.  When my son saw me the first time without hair he didn't even react because I was still MOMMY.
2. Cut your hair before it starts to fall out.  Having hair short will minimize the physical and emotional mess. Within two days of my cutting my hair short, I was completely bald.  I remember being in the bathroom combing out clumps of my hair and my husband appeared out of nowhere wondering where I was.  There I sat sobbing about my hair coming out.  He said lovingly, "It's just hair.  It'll grow back.  You are still pretty."  Your wedding day doesn't prepare one for this moment, but he said exactly what I needed to hear.
3. Buy your wig before hair starts to fall out. A seamless transition between your hair and a wig helps your psyche.
4. Buy a couple of wigs so you don't look out of place in the grocery store if your wig is too dolled up for your gym clothes or your hair is to casual for a night out on the town.  I had 3 wigs -- everyday wig, casual going out wig and a fancy wig.
5.  Buy a wig with the re-growth of hair in mind.  You will have to transition from bald to new hair growth so a short wig helps with this transition were your appearance isn't a sharp contrast.
6.  Do NOT shop for a wig alone.  I did and I regretted it. It was so emotional as I watched other women buying wigs for "special" occasions like weddings or birthday parties and I was wondering if I was going to live. 
7. Be bold with the wig.  Use it as an opportunity to change your hair style from straight to curly or vice verse or go blonde or brunette as a complete change.
8.  Enjoy wearing the wig knowing that one day (soon) you'll be washing, blow drying, curling, flat ironing, dying your own hair.  Wigs make getting ready EASY.
9. Using insurance is not a must.  Personally, I thought it was ridiculous to spend hundreds of dollars on a wig that I viewed to be temporary.  Getting wigs via insurance leaves you with few choices. I bought 3 wigs out of pocket for the price of one insurance funded wig and I was happy with my choices.
10.  Transitioning from the wig can be hard has you reveal new growth.  I did it when I had "peach" fuzz and it was my personal badge of surviving chemo.  Sure I got some stares, but I didn't care. 
My hair doesn't define me, my LIFE does!

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